first anniversary

Our first anniversary coming up! This is a good time to review the relationship. Most of the time I think my husband isn't too bad at all - granted sometimes he annoys me, but his good points definitely outweigh his bad. So despite my sometimes quite nasty moans, I can't imagine being without him. Especially when it's cold like it is now in winter. :)

My key ingredient in a marriage is that you have to enjoy spending time with each other - sometimes even without talking, doing things together, and talking together also. I also like his smell - so the pheremone mix must be right. We talk about almost anything under the sun still after 10 years together, and still haven't run out of things to discuss. So fundamentally we are good for each other, just wish he'd get his act together...

concentrating on my career

I wonder if I should move to another country should the opportunity arise? There are openings in China and it's one country that I'd very much like to move to, spend some time there. Shanghai apparently would be more enjoyable though I wouldn't mind a few months in Beijing.

The question remains as to what my husband would do. Should he follow me to China - though he really should stay in the UK to concentrate on his career. He does not seem to be as ambitious as he should be, he seems to have lost of of the fire that I fell in love with when we were first going out. I don't understand what is holding him back. In his position I'd be out there looking for a job, not waiting till all his problems disappeared. He's likely to have to wait forever before that happens. There's always a new problem, and the time is never going to be exactly right to be the "ideal" time to start. It just has to be now, just take the chance get out there and go for what he wants.

The problem is he seems to be perfectly happy just meadering along doing nothing much in particular. I can't imagine how he spends his days, and I've almost given up asking him because sometimes it just starts to bore me when he tells me about shows, though occasionally the shows are interesting. Watching tv? He prefers to spend his life watching tv instead being out there living life. I wonder if he's ever really grown up from his adolescence.

patience

I am cultivating the art of patience. A husband can be very trying indeed. He can also be very nice to have around however, and I do like having mine. He's very warm during cold winter nights and he's a very dab hand with the cooking. This more than makes up for the fact that he's hopeless at cleaning the car and doing odd jobs around the house. Also he occasionally mows the lawn during summer - once the grass has grown above a minimum height of 15 cm.

I'm not sure if mine is one of the worst husbands for procrastination. He seems almost unable to make decisions without having to ponder for eons. He has now been pondering about his career path for the past few months. Granted there were events that has resulted in him being stressed, and that had taken his mind off the decision that he has to make but there are times when the events are out of his circle of influence. By my books, I don't need to spend time worrying about stuff that I cannot change, so therefore I spend my time on stuff that I can change. I feel he should do the same. However I try to share this with him though, it does not seem to work. He's fixated on the "nagging" issue. Any word of advice from me with regards to his career is interpreted as "nagging".

He seems to be easily distracted / bogged down by these events. And when he loses his temper everything shifts, so all the steps he's taken to reach whatever stage of his decision seems to be completely wiped out, and he has to start all over again from step 1! This seems to tie in with his inability to let go of his anger - sometimes he will nurse it and go a few days without talking to me. Very much a Jekyll and Hyde character, when he's in a good mood there is nothing that he will not do, and there is no husband better than he is. He will tape shows for me to watch, that he feels that I'm interested in, make breakfast and lunch and dinner for me, massages are not a problem. Heaven.

Obviously this is why we are still married after all these years, I can't take the Hyde version for more than a few days at a time, and fortunately I don't have to. The rest of the time he's lovely.

a new beginning...

I have just made a promise to my husband not to "nag" him - to find a job, do things around the house, remind to him start doing things he'd promised to do two years ago but postponed because "something came up".

Apparently he will do it - just as long as I don't "nag" him. We shall see.

As I now need a method of venting my frustration somewhere other than at him, I am keeping this blog, a journal if you will. Perhaps he will prove me wrong. I can only hope.